The question we shouldn’t ask is… Why? We’re not meant to always know the answer to this question and more important, focus needs to be on redirecting ourselves with the new direction we’ve been placed in. Fighting, questioning and avoiding it merely prolongs the unavoidable.

         We cannot control another’s actions, nor should we want to or try, but we can control our own. It’s empowering to be in control of oneself and take action in your own life. This will prove valuable in many areas and those who truly care about you will not only surface, but be drawn to you.

         I’m rooted in the belief of things happening for a reason, just not a fan of it happening to me; ha… who is? However, when it comes around and it will, embrace it. You’ll learn a lot about yourself and those around you; being surprised even, by what you learn. We’re always stronger than we think or give ourselves credit for and personally, I feel greater reward comes from struggles and not what is handed to us. Let me be clear, I do feel you must give back, help others, to fully receive what is due you. Do everything with this phrase in mind, ‘you reap what you sow’ and you’ll be mindful of what you say and do. Always act by doing the right thing and pray for those who hurt you. If you look to others for self gratification you will only be disappointed.

         We’re all blessed with talents and we suppress them when we get caught up in self-pity and questioning things beyond our own control. Discover those who have your back and keep them close. Don’t shut out the very people who have been put in your life to help, support and compliment you; what a disservice to yourself.

         Learn to take criticism, good and bad, this will help you grow and become the best you can be. Return criticism likewise, mind your tongue when doing so, to help others grow and become their best self.

         We’re far from perfect and can learn so much from one another, just as we learn once we shut-up and listen. Before doing and saying anything, always ask yourself this question: how would I react? At the same time, don’t be a doormat! Too often we become a welcome mat for all those who come to know and realize the good natured people we are. This doesn’t do them or you, any favors. If you’re currently a doormat or have been, you’re well aware of the heartache that comes with it. Repeat after me, ‘No More!’ There’s a difference in helping others/giving back and being taken advantage of.

         Before accusing someone else, check yourself for error first. At times the problem is within us and if corrected, can change some situations. Everything begins and ends with you. No, things aren’t always easy – what kind of challenge would that be. We grow and change over time, hopefully into better people and sometimes these changes bring heartache, but this too shall pass.

Southernly, K*Chele

NOW AVAILABLE AT: http://kchele.magcloud.com

If so, you’ve probably discovered that information and knowledge is limited – therefore putting an even greater fear in your mind. Let me assure you that you’re not alone, there are others suffering with you and I am one of them. I’ve become very educated with this disease and will be using this blog to reach others, in hopes of helping you cope.

Four Important Things to Know:

Sleep ~ when insomnia isn’t keeping you up, sleep. The body heals when you’re sleeping and with RSD, its important that you get the sleep your body needs. Aside from sleeping at bedtime, you should take a nap or two during the day, when time allows. Turn off the TV! You don’t want anything to keep you from getting a sound sleep and keeping your subconscious awake. Find a quiet – cool room and get a warm blanket, give your body the extra downtime it needs.

Time ~ though you’re at your wits end, you should be aware and understand now – that RSD is a time disease. There is no set time frame and everyone is different. Understanding it can take a little or a lot of time, will help keep your mind clear of the “how long” worries and stress. Though with time, and this may mean years, you will learn to live a new normal life, it doesn’t mean the RSD will go away.

Stress ~ with everything you have in you, avoid stress as much as possible; it is NOT your friend. Stress wears and tears on healthy folks, so imagine what it does to someone with RSD. It will cause flare-ups, increase pain and mentally drain you. With this disease you don’t need any help in this area (smile).

Brain Power ~ the power of the mind is insane and your BEST friend, especially when you have RSD. With determination and practice, you can learn to control the RSD instead of it always controlling you… thus my saying, “RSD is living with me,” because I’m surely not living with it. With use of “Mind over Matter” and a LITTLE help with meds, you can reach a tolerable pain level.

RSD is a form of torture and with each stage it rips at your emotions, but your best defense is to fight back. Give yourself permission to cry and even scream, from time to time; its okay. If you haven’t already discovered who your real friends are, you will soon and then you’ll know who your support group is. Depending on the area affected, certain daily tasks will be difficult or impossible to do and help will be needed. Use the help offered, if in fact it has been and consider that one of your blessings. Don’t put to much on your family if you can help it, RSD is living with them also and you are going to need them for the duration; being a caregiver isn’t easy and it hurts those who love you to see you go through this.

Feel free to comment or even ask questions if you have any.

K*Chele (kimberly michele durham)

“The Battle Isn’t Over Because They’re Home… It’s Just The Beginning Of Victory”

- Understanding the Impact a Returning War Deployed Soldier Has on the Family -

(North Carolina – April 12, 2010) Newly Self-Published Author, Kimberly Michele Durham, answers what’s next in her book “The Battle Isn’t Over Because They’re Home… It’s Just The Beginning Of Victory.” This quick, easy read, is packed with information and will stir discussion between those faced with deployment.

Mrs. Durham spent eight years as a volunteer Family Readiness Coordinator for the North Carolina Army National Guard and a military spouse. During this time her husband, Michael Thomas Durham and unit, were placed on active duty for eighteen months, spending a year in Iraq supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.

The information in this title was obtained from her own experience, lessons learned as both a coordinator and spouse. Ed Broyhill, Broyhill Group President said, “this true account is empowering and helps educate on issues of transition after war.”

Mrs. Durham is very intriguing and knowledgeable with a star personality and too cute southern accent. Don’t miss out on her unique ability to grab and hold an audience attention – be among the first to interview her.

Visit: www.kcheledesigns.com/thebattleisntoverbecausetheyrehome.aspx for more information, to view cover, read one page from book and read reviews.

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Published By: K*Chele Designs – PO Box 1767 Clemmons, NC 27012 – www.kcheledesigns.com

Informing Toyota Consumers 

Neutrally Speaking, Turn the Key of Worry Off 

Consumers should be aware of options should they find themselves speeding along without control of their vehicle. Being an informed consumer eliminates fear, worry and/or questions of what do I do if. With heightened press regarding entrapment of accelerator pedals in certain Toyota models there has been little to no mention of what consumers can do, should this happen to them while driving. 

Should a consumer find themselves in a sticky situation, where the accelerator pedal is wide open, there are a couple of solutions that should be easy to implement even in panic. Take notice of surroundings and make your way to the shoulder of the road. Turn on the emergency flashers, put the vehicle in neutral and with the brake applied, cut the vehicle off. If all else fails simply turn the vehicle off, the steering wheel will not lock up on these vehicles. 

Some models will require the consumer to press and hold the button on the gear shift for a few seconds before it can be placed in neutral. The purpose of using the emergency flashers and applying the brake is to warn other drivers that there is a problem and they should proceed with caution. In spite of everything, we want to make life on the road as safe for everyone as possible. 

Knowledge is power, inform consumers. 

### 

Consumers can enter their VIN (vehicle identification number) for recall information at: 

www.toyotaownersonline.com/sscinfo 

No respect of persons, affecting many lives

Attacking every emotion, even though you try

To keep your composure and hold it all inside

The good is hard to see, when its you that it has reached

If only it were a dream, this disease they attempt to treat

Faith will be strengthened and tested along the way

Though dreading, you’re thankful for another day

Eventually, this too shall pass

One of life’s little mysteries

Stays with us, but don’t last

Written by: Kimberly Michele Durham

Posted using ShareThis

You Can Read One Page From This Book Here

Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy, or RSD, a chronic and incurable neurological disorder in which the sympathetic/autonomic nervous system – the system that transfers signals from the central nervous system to various organs throughout the body – malfunctions, causing nerves to misfire and send constant pain signals to the brain. RSD develops in response to physical trauma and becomes more active during times of stress. Its actions during the stress response comprise the fight-or-flight response.

What causes RSD? No one knows for sure, but whatever the cause, it is definitely not due to a psychological disorder or symptom magnification.

The most common symptom of RSD is chronic pain, which patients frequently describe as burning or stinging. Patients also suffer from extreme skin sensitivity, so that even clothing is unbearable and even the bed sheets feel like sandpaper. Other symptoms include:

• Aching, cold, burning pain
• Abnormal swelling
• Abnormal hair or nail growth
• Limited range of movement
• Abnormal sweating
• Abnormal skin temperature
• Continuous pain
• Allodynia (pain to the touch)
• Skin sensitivity 
• Color changes in the affected area

Patients may also experience muscle spasms, tremors, weakness, fatigue, skin rashes, frequent infections, fever, headaches and insomnia.

Although there is no cure for RSD, there are many ways to manage its symptoms.

**You can read more about this under my blog post entitled: Dear Family and Friends. K*Chele

     How is it that those we give the most to can so easily turn or ignore us when they are needed in return, if only for something simple? Could it be because they are takers, cons, have good intentions, but nothing more?

     Reality is real and I refuse to let others pull me down so far that I become as they are and not care. I may have to fight harder, work harder and struggle more, but in the end I will be stronger and a lot more wiser. So, to all those who don’t care and are too selfish to help those in need, when they have helped and given so much to you – Thank You!

     Closing thoughts, be careful who you use, abuse, step on, ignore, turn on – those are bridges that you may later regret burning.

Words May Hurt You, Struggles May Try to Break You, but Neither Can Stop You!

Kimberly Michele Durham

As parents who pay for our children’s cell phone and control the plan and options, we can lower percentages tremendously by simply making a few changes. There are a lot of issues surrounding sexting and texting that remain due to non-action. I believe in finding a solution rather than focusing on the problem and though you may not be very popular, there is an easy solution to this problem – remove text from the phone.

My son will be seventeen in April and he has never had text on his phone. Though he is one of the few if not the only one, in our community that doesn’t have the ability to text from his cell phone; he knows why he doesn’t have it. If you remove the temptation, they cannot be tempted. It is also important to communicate with your children, especially teens, so there is no misunderstanding of why you’ve made certain decisions; you don’t won’t them thinking you don’t trust them.

As adults we sometimes forget that we lead by example. What I mean by this is if you don’t want your kids using their phone while driving, then you shouldn’t either. Even when you think no one is looking, they are and this applies in all areas of our lives including the workplace.

 Technology has made things to easy creating a lazy generation and in my opinion calls for tougher parents. I’m very thankful for my up-bringing in a home with rules, love and communication and it has proven itself with the raising of my kids. Tough love teaches - doing what’s easy cripples.

Be the Change! K*Chele